Friday, June 8, 2012

Dancer dancing soon again

When I started this blog I had intentions of calling it Dancer Dancing Daily. I had just moved back home and was seriously going to embark on a journey that I thought would suit me just fine. I was going to try and dance professionally. I had mapped out what classes I would take ... Rhapsody Monday Wed Fri audition on the weekends and try a jazz class here and there, Neil and Jared late night on thurs and ryan on fri. I thought i wa doing the damn thing. Little did I know God a different plan for me. I got sick like three weeks after getting home from school in january. And by sick I mean I was dizzy all of the time. Realizing it was vertigo,I tried my best to stay living the life I was... Going to dance class everyday at BDC and hoptowhatship on Fridays... Struggling to face the fact that something was wrong with me. I couldn't dance. Now in my brain I'm thinking wtf I can't dance... That doesn't make any sense ... Everyone can dance or at least try to right? Well not me. One day in early March I was walking to the LIRR like normal and all of the sudden my body tensed up muscles all tightened in my back, legs became weak, toes went numb and there it was - I was standing in the street helpless and immobilized. Now granted it may have been for only a minute... It felt like forever and I knew then and there the rest of my life would be different. I have multiple sclerosis and some part of me would deal with this, everyday for the rest of my life. And you know what nothing could change that. Not a doctor... He didn't have much to say and medicine doesn't help this disease. Not a friend... One friend told me oh Courtney from SYTYCD has it and she's fine.. Little does she know very patient is different extremely different ... Not my parents...they're scared just like me. I will have to conquer it on my own.
I guess the point of this post is live. LIVE. That old saying dance like nobody is watching is such a proverb to live by because u never know when that could be taken away from you and each time you dance you want to do it with such fierce and perform with such tenacity that it's like your in your mirror on a Saturday morning.
I'm slowly getting back to my old self, but I'm constantly living in fear of another attack caused by excessive physical activity. Either way I want to spread the message to dance like its your last dance. I would love to go back to the last class I was in a give it my all. Not knowing it would be the last one I go to for months.

1 comment:

  1. I love you best friend!! You're not completely alone! :) <3

    ReplyDelete